Break Up or Breakthrough
Every relationship has a reason, a season. I truly believe this with all my soul.
Breakups are a time for trust, self-love, patience and growth. You are well equipped to handle this, your soul will hold you and heal you, trust it.
Breakups are the path to your biggest breakthroughs. This may feel like, one of those things that are easy to say and not to do, I get it; I promise you, you will not only get through this, you will break through this and have the ability to leave behind, clean out, old stuff, and bring forth a better, stronger, wiser you, which leads to a better, stronger relationship! Easy to say right? Remember, you’ve got this I promise.
Hurt is a sign you not only learning about yourself, but you are on the verge of growth, something big is coming for you. The bigger the breakthrough the bigger the coming opportunity! The deeper the pain, the deeper the healing. I have always found this to be true. Ask yourself now, “How will I use this?”, How will I grow?” “Who will I become because of this breakup?” This is the perfect opportunity to direct the love you have felt, shared, and given externally inward. You have not lost love, you have just gained love. It’s your time, to redirect that love to yourself.
When you are the one broken up with, you feel powerless, and out of control, this thought path leads directly to ego, feeds the ego in essence feeds the fear that is ego. This thought path, connects you to anger, fear, self-blame, guilt, and spiraling emotionally into that black hole of despair. Nothing good ever transpires from this place.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Being left is going to challenge you, but it doesn’t have to destroy you.
Focus on the path ahead, the fact that many relationships come and go, and end over time. breathe it in, feel the hurt, sit with it, feel it, trust your soul will take the pain, the hurt, will hold you and heal you.
Do not focus immediately on fixing, focus on what you are emotionally feeling.
A few things you can do as you move through this experience and heal.
· EXPRESS your feelings, talk to friends, and family, not to look for guidance but to listen. If you do not have anyone available, journal. It is important that you express what you feel to anyone other than the person that left you. (Trust me, nothing good comes from expressing how you feel or trying to solve a problem from a reactive state of mind especially, to the person you feel hurt you) Any attempt to “fix” or “solve” or “change” the situation from this place is going to be futile. Give yourself time to emotionally regulate, release the power and impact in the moment, and process what you are thinking and feeling. “Feel to heal” as they say.
· Questions I ask myself, What am I feeling? What do I need? How can I meet that need? Tip- The answer should not be dependent or with the expectation of anyone else to do anything.
· Give yourself the time to be with what you are feeling, and be gentle with yourself as you settle in with the new reality. They have made a choice, whether you like it or not, and most likely not easy for them either. Take time for both of you to fully process and move through this highly triggered and reactive place..
· Promise yourself and create a pact not to call, text them, and ask them not to take your calls or texts, for 7 days, 14 days, whatever feels right for you. Will this be easy? No. Will this be painful? Yes. But I promise you this. This time will give you the space to move through the anger, the unpredictable behavior, the space to cry, pray, journal and release.
· Give yourself permission to refuse any future or current relationship that does not support you, give you the love you deserve, allow you to grow, fully express yourself, ask for what you need, and NEVER or fight for anything less. Why would you fight for someone or something that does not fight for you? You can still love them for all you shared together, wish them well, and express gratitude for the learning, the growth.
· Lastly, practice turn the love you so easily gave away to yourself. Cherish you, Love you, spend time with you, take care of you get to know this new you that is going to emerge. Focus on what is to come, something better, bigger. You WILL attract the right person, in the right time.
· Remind yourself, this is meant to be, the best is yet to come, just because you cannot see it, or feel it yet, you will. I promise. What is the best that could happen now?