4 Steps to emotional Freedom

We are all looking for our Happy Place in life. Isn't it time you found yours?

Of course these secrets I'm

going to share with you will help, but its not a quick fix. You have to do the work. (I'll be there to help you if you need it)

The rewards for doing the work? Complete and utter emotional balance, emotional freedom, Confidence, utter joy and appreciation for what is. Sound good? Then come with me it's time to free yourself, not just know the answers, but trust your own decisions, speak your mind, ask for what you want!

No more resentment, no more frustration, anger. Maybe you have experienced the dreaded passive aggressive behavior, or maybe even been the one dishing it out. It's okay, me too! It comes from not speaking your mind, biting your tongue, dimming your uniqueness, your voice, not knowing how to skillfully communicate and ask for what you would like. It comes from compromising your values, and letting down your personal boundaries.

Well friends, it's time you learn the basic skills to take you to emotional freedom. (Some of them anyway, because after all there are so many more) Here we go, let me set the scene. Your significant other is supposed to be home at 6 for a special dinner. They roll in at 7:30. you are triggered, reactive, upset, mad, accusatory, and maybe share a few not so kind words. This puts them on the defense, they now are also triggered, they share a few of their own not so kind words, it escalates, and end of story is everyone is hurt, nothing has been accomplished and the anxiety is at an all time high, let alone everyone regretting the entire sh$! show.

Here are a few things to remember and try when you are; triggered, emotionally activated, and coming from an elevated level of fear.


1) Own what your feeling. When someone does us "wrong" as we see it, we immediately feel justified in becoming angry. We feel a victim of someone else's words. They are now controlling you, stealing your emotional well being, which makes us even angrier. Pause and remind yourself that its you that gives the experience meaning, good or bad. You have the choice to perceive the situation, and respond in any way you choose. Is it possible there is more to the story? Weigh in on the other scenarios. What is a possible different story here? Own that it is you creating the emotional chaos, through your thoughts and meanings you give to the experience. After all, you do not want to be an emotional prisoner of others behaviors and words do you? Owning your part, how you may have contributed to the situation is liberating and holds so much growth for you. Your choice to give it an empowering meaning or disempowering meaning is what makes or breaks the ugly pattern. Owning your choices either way feels good.


2) Use the STOP technique.

S-Notice when triggered and just take a pause.

T-Take a few breathes. this works twofold, calms the nervous system and allows you to refocus and break the negative pattern.

O-Observe what thoughts your having, stories your spinning, negative thoughts. Again, be curious, hmm.. that's interesting? The main practice here is to see how you are making the experience possibly something that it isn't.

P-Once calmed down, proceed with compassion.


1) Own what your feeling. When someone does you "wrong" as you see it, you immediately feel justified in becoming angry. You feel a victim of someone else's words. They are now controlling you, stealing your emotional well being, which makes you even angrier. Pause and remind yourself that its you that gives the experience meaning, good or bad. You have the choice to perceive the situation, and respond in any way you choose. Is it possible there is more to the story? Weigh in on the other scenarios. Own that it is you creating the emotional chaos, through your thoughts and meanings you give to the experience. After all, you do not want to be an emotional prisoner of others behaviors and words do you? Owning your part, how you may have contributed to the situation is liberating. Your choice to give it an empowering meaning or disempowering meaning is what makes or breaks the ugly pattern. Owning your choices either way feels good.


If you stick to these practices you will begin to choose differently, become aware of how you are contributing to your emotional anxiety. When you notice your thoughts and behaviors, you then have choice, with choice comes freedom!


Debbie Walker



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